Terumi, I gave the robot a message for you. I don't trust her to deliver it, so I've decided to keep notes too.
--
When I arrived, I thought that all those barriers and safeguards had worked after all. It wasn't that surprising.... just troublesome. I had done all that work to ensure that Celica ran way from the island so that Nine and the Ten Sages would be occupied but...oh well.
It doesn't matter whether this place is a result of them trying to keep me away or something else entirely. Perhaps it's both in truth. Either way, I'll find a way to get back to obtain it or even...
They seem to know a lot about me, Terumi. More than I know about myself. I don't like it, and I don't need them. The Azure will tell me all I need to know. And I promised you, remember?
There are a lot of people here too, it's exactly like the academy almost. There's a red haired girl here who reminds me of Trinity a bit. She seems awfully concerned about me....it's disgusting. But maybe she'll be useful just like Trinity was in distracting Nine, so it might not be all that bad. Don't think I'll go back to that boring, meaningless existence I had for seven years though. It's not like I could trust any of them anyway, but some of them might have their uses.
Ah, did I tell you the "reason" we're all supposedly here? To kill each other.
...it's funny isn't? When they made the announcement I couldn't take it, I had to get away before I started laughing. I laughed so much that my sides still hurt. Before we were told everyone was acting all friendly and sweet...like we could all trust in each other to get out of this situation together. They're naive, all so naive.
Ah— this week was such a bother, it was almost like dealing with Nine again. Someone murdered this week, as I knew they would~. I didn't think I would be a suspect though, but everyone else seemed just as surprised as I did. I don't think anyone really suspected me besides the reanimated corpse, which is amusing. Can I really blame them for thinking such a thing? I'm just a weak, confused student, compared to all of the more experienced people here.
...it's foolish to gamble for such a motive with no proof. I don't need protection anyway, I know enough to protect myself, and I think I could use how you showed me to fight too, if I needed to. They even gave me knives, how thoughtful of them.
--
Things here are more exciting than they are at Ishana. The ship isn't large, but it isn't as suffocating as being stuck on that island. The people here are better too, or at least some of them are. I can't really trust them of course (but I think some of them trust me!), but they're not bad company besides. It's possible my standards are a bit low though, after dealing with the disgusting things Trinity would say day after day. Maybe I can learn some things from them too, that will make getting the Azure easier. I don't think you'd approve of talking to them but... I should use their trust as best as I can.
Terumi, did you know how much blood there is inside people? It's a lot more than I expected, all different shades of red...
I guess you could say I made a mistake today. I followed a trail of blood, knowing the result couldn't be good. But it wasn't that I was scared or anything cowardly like that. Before I came here, I started to realize what you meant about "boring" things. Before I met you, I didn't know what it felt like to really feel happiness or joy. But seeing things like the look on Trinity's face when I called her a fool... ah it made me laugh so much, it was so amusing. Seeing the mutilated bodies of the two idiots who didn't vote was also amusing. But I wasn't alone, there were others with me and I knew they wouldn't appreciate something like that. I tried my best to keep it to myself but... you should have seen their heads! Whoever killed them really had fun with it, even if it was a bit messy. I'm afraid I may have gotten just a bit ahead of myself just then... I just couldn't help it. I laughed so much that my sides hurt again, and the next thing I knew I was in my room. The other people I was with didn't get it, but I'm not surprised. The only one who gets me is you.
--
I'm starting to think that this place is just like Ishana after all. I can feel everyone's eyes on me this week. Why can't more of them die already?
I used to think I knew what friends were. Friends are people who will stick up for you, keep you company, and who will talk to you every day. I have one friend back home I guess, Trinity.
...but I was stupid then. Even if I hadn't realized that you can't trust anyone before I came here, I certainly wouldn't believe that now. Not after what happened this week. One best friend murdered another, "accidentally", or that's what it looked like at least. Does it really matter either way?
Several people consider me a friend here, and I've told the same of course. No, no, no I don't really believe it. Everyone is always only looking out for themselves, you know?
--
Writing to you like this reminds me of the times we met up in Ishana, where we spoke before Nine interfered constantly. There's no motive this week as people keep dying randomly, it's kind of funny. Instead the robot is enforcing bonding time or something, because she paired everyone with a partner for the week. I guess you could say I'm lucky, because I got paired with someone I don't mind too much. He sees me writing this naturally, but it's not like he can read it. It's not that odd to keep a journal, right?
--
Terumi, I don't want to slip back into this pattern again. I don't want to forget. I won't forget. I have a purpose.
I haven't slept all night. But I think I've finally decided.
I'm not scared in fact it's... a relief. The more I think about it, the more it seems right to me. Just like how I felt when Trinity believed in me, even though I caused the seithr influx all along. With this I'll finally know who I am, but I think I understand a little better right now anyway.
I wish you were here to help me, but I'll be okay on my own. I'll show you-- I'll show everyone that I'm not just some worthless person who lets things pass him by, living life without a care in the world.
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Week 0/1
Date: 2016-06-09 03:21 am (UTC)--
When I arrived, I thought that all those barriers and safeguards had worked after all. It wasn't that surprising.... just troublesome. I had done all that work to ensure that Celica ran way from the island so that Nine and the Ten Sages would be occupied but...oh well.
It doesn't matter whether this place is a result of them trying to keep me away or something else entirely. Perhaps it's both in truth. Either way, I'll find a way to get back to obtain it or even...
They seem to know a lot about me, Terumi. More than I know about myself. I don't like it, and I don't need them. The Azure will tell me all I need to know. And I promised you, remember?
There are a lot of people here too, it's exactly like the academy almost. There's a red haired girl here who reminds me of Trinity a bit. She seems awfully concerned about me....it's disgusting. But maybe she'll be useful just like Trinity was in distracting Nine, so it might not be all that bad. Don't think I'll go back to that boring, meaningless existence I had for seven years though. It's not like I could trust any of them anyway, but some of them might have their uses.
Ah, did I tell you the "reason" we're all supposedly here? To kill each other.
...it's funny isn't? When they made the announcement I couldn't take it, I had to get away before I started laughing. I laughed so much that my sides still hurt. Before we were told everyone was acting all friendly and sweet...like we could all trust in each other to get out of this situation together. They're naive, all so naive.
I wonder who will kill someone first?
Week 1/2
Date: 2016-06-17 05:19 am (UTC)...it's foolish to gamble for such a motive with no proof. I don't need protection anyway, I know enough to protect myself, and I think I could use how you showed me to fight too, if I needed to. They even gave me knives, how thoughtful of them.
--
Things here are more exciting than they are at Ishana. The ship isn't large, but it isn't as suffocating as being stuck on that island. The people here are better too, or at least some of them are. I can't really trust them of course (but I think some of them trust me!), but they're not bad company besides. It's possible my standards are a bit low though, after dealing with the disgusting things Trinity would say day after day. Maybe I can learn some things from them too, that will make getting the Azure easier. I don't think you'd approve of talking to them but... I should use their trust as best as I can.
Week 2/3
Date: 2016-06-23 04:46 am (UTC)I guess you could say I made a mistake today. I followed a trail of blood, knowing the result couldn't be good. But it wasn't that I was scared or anything cowardly like that. Before I came here, I started to realize what you meant about "boring" things. Before I met you, I didn't know what it felt like to really feel happiness or joy. But seeing things like the look on Trinity's face when I called her a fool... ah it made me laugh so much, it was so amusing. Seeing the mutilated bodies of the two idiots who didn't vote was also amusing. But I wasn't alone, there were others with me and I knew they wouldn't appreciate something like that. I tried my best to keep it to myself but... you should have seen their heads! Whoever killed them really had fun with it, even if it was a bit messy. I'm afraid I may have gotten just a bit ahead of myself just then... I just couldn't help it. I laughed so much that my sides hurt again, and the next thing I knew I was in my room. The other people I was with didn't get it, but I'm not surprised. The only one who gets me is you.
--
I'm starting to think that this place is just like Ishana after all. I can feel everyone's eyes on me this week. Why can't more of them die already?
Week 3/4
Date: 2016-07-04 05:25 am (UTC)...but I was stupid then. Even if I hadn't realized that you can't trust anyone before I came here, I certainly wouldn't believe that now. Not after what happened this week. One best friend murdered another, "accidentally", or that's what it looked like at least. Does it really matter either way?
Several people consider me a friend here, and I've told the same of course. No, no, no I don't really believe it. Everyone is always only looking out for themselves, you know?
--
Writing to you like this reminds me of the times we met up in Ishana, where we spoke before Nine interfered constantly. There's no motive this week as people keep dying randomly, it's kind of funny. Instead the robot is enforcing bonding time or something, because she paired everyone with a partner for the week. I guess you could say I'm lucky, because I got paired with someone I don't mind too much. He sees me writing this naturally, but it's not like he can read it. It's not that odd to keep a journal, right?
--
Terumi, I don't want to slip back into this pattern again. I don't want to forget. I won't forget. I have a purpose.
week 5 // Monday
Date: 2016-07-04 11:02 pm (UTC)It's fake. It has to be fake. But looking at it's-
week 5// Tuesday morning
Date: 2016-07-05 03:27 pm (UTC)I'm not scared in fact it's... a relief. The more I think about it, the more it seems right to me. Just like how I felt when Trinity believed in me, even though I caused the seithr influx all along. With this I'll finally know who I am, but I think I understand a little better right now anyway.
I wish you were here to help me, but I'll be okay on my own. I'll show you-- I'll show everyone that I'm not just some worthless person who lets things pass him by, living life without a care in the world.
...it's calling to me, I'm so close now.